Until I find my hidden artistic talent, I will have to work for a living at a normal, probably boring real-person type of job *gasp*. And for this reason, I have to look like a Nice Girl. So now that Its not my parents, its Da Man keeping me down! But I cant be held down, I cant be stopped, Im so crazy, I will rock-on........and one day.....ONE DAY, Im gonna look like a creature from Outer Space....probably when Im old and retired, and too worn-down by oppressive society to even enjoy it. FUCK...where's my gun....

I currently have the following holes: (yeah I know what youre thinking, sicko)

14g Septum: My first peircing, very easy to heal, virtually painless and maintenance-free
14g Inner Conch: Took one year to heal, but looks supa-fly
several Lobes: but who care about lobes unless you can swing from em?
18g cart: yes, 18g is too small, I know this now
12g outer labia: Okay, this is another story (see Bme experiences: bloodbath)

I have wanted to be a junky for quite some time, but I cant find a heroin dealer out here in Redneckville. I abused codeine for about 7 months, which was hard on my body and harder on my bank account: pharmacueticals are extremely expensive and hard to get. But the opiates are my drug of choice. Aside from the eventual loss of muscle mass, chronic constipation and decreased ability to orgasm, for those 7 months I was very happy. Inevitably, of course, the fun had to come to an end. I was getting immune to it, and in danger of failing out of school. Quiting was not that hard - I did it gradually and started smoking pot instead. But pot is a wimpy drug by comparison, thus now I am contemplating a more intense addiction. If you are a heroin/morphine dealer, please email me immediately.

Cigarettes:
My favorite vice. It makes me look cool.

Porno movies:
I can spend days and days sitting on the sofa watching porn till my eyes are bugging out and my hand is about to fall off.

Diet Coke:
What do they put in this stuff? I am up to almost a 12-pack per day! I cant stop!

Talk Shows:
Sally, Jenny, Jerry....god bless them all! When I'm feeling blue, when life has got me down, I spend a few hours making fun of poor, uneducated people who's lives are so much worse than mine.

Fake Food:
Gummi Bears, Cheese Whiz, Pixie Stix, Mike and Ike, Jelly Beans, Hot Fries....mmmmm, I could go on and on but its making me hungry.

You're probably wondering how I am still alive. Can a person live a life of pure gluttony forever? Probably not. And one day I will have to make a serious change or something. One day..